Memorial Day
Honoring those who are gone but not forgotten
I was tempted to begin this post with a “Happy Memorial Day” but Military.com reminds us that:
because Memorial Day is a somber day to honor those who died in service to the country, saying “Happy Memorial Day” is considered bad taste. For those who have lost family or friends through military service, the day is far from happy. If you feel the need to say something, try “Have a meaningful Memorial Day.”
The holiday’s origins are not completely clear, according to History.com:
some records show that one of the earliest Memorial Day commemorations was organized by a group of formerly enslaved people in Charleston, South Carolina less than a month after the Confederacy surrendered in 1865. Nevertheless, in 1966 the federal government declared Waterloo, New York, the official birthplace of Memorial Day.
Waterloo—which first celebrated the day on May 5, 1866—was chosen because it hosted an annual, community-wide event, during which businesses closed and residents decorated the graves of soldiers with flowers and flags.
As my understanding of this commemorative holiday grew, I began to realize that the fate of those who had died was accompanied by the heart-rendingly sad unfinished stories of those who were lost or imprisoned, those who were missing in action (MIA) or prisoners of war (POWs).
The children’s book, America’s White Table, brought this home in a surprising and incisive way. (See video of reading here.)
This short video describes the military ritual of setting a table at events to remind guests that not everyone who would be included is there, present.
Though there are these tragic stories of loved ones who have not returned, America’s meticulous attention to accounting for every soldier draws a strong contrast to what happened to Vietnamese soldiers in America’s War in Vietnam.
The northern soldiers in particular were often unaccounted for due to the sheer numbers that died.
My father, James E. Welch, was in charge of a propaganda radio station in Saigon in . The program was designed to sway northern soldiers into defecting to the South and rejoin the one true “Mother Vietnam.”
It took me a long time to figure out why some of the programming was spent naming the names of fallen Northern soldiers. Finally, I understood: the Mother Vietnam show was sharing information that the Northern families would not otherwise have gotten and the broadcasts became an invaluable source of information; as devastating as it was to hear of a loved one’s death, it was better than never knowing.
Charles E. Taber, in his book Get Out Any Way You Can, used “a little theater to illustrate” how the scene might have played out:
A rough camp in the jungles of South Vietnam. A dozen or so men and women dressed in black uniforms sit or lie around a small fire, AK-47s lean against a downed tree trunk. One of the group fiddles with a small transistor radio trying to tune in a scratchy signal. The signal turns to music, the music softens and a voice-over is heard:
Good evening, fighters for the homeland. This is Mother Vietnam bringing you news and entertainment to help you in your patriotic struggle.
Mother has the sad duty to speak to the men and women of the 615 Sapper Company. Mother weeps for her sons and daughters who paid the ultimate price for the homeland at yesterday’s heroic action at Anh Khe Pass . . .
Then the announcer would begin to list those who had fallen, who had died in the battle to secure their homeland.
With the passage of time the impact of loss softens, our grief does not go away but finds a place alongside our daily activities. We each need a “little white table” where we can make room for that which is missing but which needs a place.
Memorial Day is a day for that and alongside the parades, the festivities, the simple downtime, I hope that you find some quiet moments to honor not only anyone you may have known personally, but all those families who have suffered grief because of war’s heavy shadow.
Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this essay, please like, comment, share, or subscribe. These free weekly “Stories of Vietnam,” offer a historical and personal glimpse into the Vietnam Era as we approach the 50th Anniversary of the End of the Vietnam War.
To learn more about my books or school visits, visit Kat-Fitzpatrick.com.
One question: how did "Mother Vietnam" get the names of the North Vietnamese soldiers who died?